61 Enlightening Quotes from The places that scare you by Pema Chödrön



If you often feel bitter, angry or depressed,you should read The Places That Scare You by Pema Chödrön.This book can help you break the negative thoughts pattern.


Here are the quotes:

''Don’t you go letting life harden your heart.''
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Sometimes....broken heart gives birth to anxiety and panic, sometimes to anger, resentment, and blame. But under the hardness of that armor there is the tenderness of genuine sadness. This is our link with all those who have ever loved.''
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

Pema Chödrön quote

''we can never know what will happen to us next. We can try to control the uncontrollable by looking for security and predictability, always hoping to be comfortable and safe. But the truth is that we can never avoid uncertainty. This not knowing is part of the adventure, and it’s also what makes
us afraid.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''It’s hard to know whether to laugh or to cry at the human predicament. Here we are with so much wisdom and tenderness, and—without even knowing it—we cover it over to protect ourselves from insecurity. Although we have the potential to experience the freedom of a butterfly, we mysteriously prefer the small and fearful cocoon of ego.''
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''The tragedy of experiencing ourselves as apart from everyone else is that this delusion becomes a prison.''
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

Pema Chödrön quote


''Openness doesn’t come from resisting our fears but from getting to know them well.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''These are the three ways that we shield ourselves from this fluid, un-pin-downable world, three strategies we use to provide ourselves with the illusion of security.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

  
''The point is that we can misuse any substance or activity to run away from insecurity. When we become addicted…, we are creating the causes and conditions for suffering to escalate. We can’t get any lasting satisfaction no matter how hard we try. Instead the very feelings we’re trying to escape from get stronger.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''When we believe in the correctness of our view, we can be very narrow-minded and prejudiced about the faults of other people.For example, how do I react when my beliefs about the government are challenged? How about when others don’t agree with how I feel about homosexuality or women’s rights or the environment? What happens when my ideas about smoking or drinking are challenged? What do I do when my religious convictions are not shared? The problem isn’t with the beliefs themselves but with how we use them to get ground under our feet, how we use them to feel right and to make someone else wrong, how we use them to avoid feeling the uneasiness of not knowing what is going on.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''In the sixties I knew people who took LSD every day with the belief that they
could maintain that high. Instead they fried their brains. I still know men and
women who are addicted to falling in love. Like Don Juan, they can’t bear it
when that initial glow begins to wear off; they’re always seeking out someone
new.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Life does continually go up and down. People and situations are unpredictable and so is everything else.Everybody knows the pain of getting what we don’t want: saints, sinners,winners, losers. …we don’t suffer this kind of pain because of our personal inability to get things right.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


Pema Chödrön quote


''Nothing is static or fixed, all is fleeting and impermanent, [This] is the first
mark of existence.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Everything is in process. Everything—every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimate—is always changing, moment to moment. We don’t have to be mystics or physicists to know this. Yet at the level of personal experience, we resist this basic fact. It means that life isn’t always going to go our way. It means there’s loss as well as gain. And we don’t like that.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''We know that all is impermanent; we know that everything wears out. Although we can buy this truth intellectually, emotionally we have a deep-rooted aversion to it. We want permanence; we expect permanence. Our natural tendency is to seek security; we believe we can find it.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

  
''Egolessness is a flexible identity. It manifests as inquisitiveness, as adaptability, as humor, as playfulness. It is our capacity to relax with not knowing, not figuring everything out, with not being at all sure about who we are—or who anyone else is either.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''We are certain about who we are and who others are and it blinds us. If another version of reality comes knocking on our door, our fixed ideas keep us from accepting it.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''We are not trapped in the identity of success or failure, or in any identity at all, neither in terms of how others see us nor in how we see ourselves. Every moment is unique, unknown, completely fresh.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

Pema Chödrön quote


 ''we expect that what is always changing should be graspable and predictable. We are born with a craving for resolution and security that governs our thoughts, words, and actions. Because we mistakenly take what is always changing to be permanent, we suffer.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Because we mistake what always results in suffering for what will bring us happiness, we remain stuck in the repetitious habit of escalating our dissatisfaction…this vicious cycle is called samsara.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Because we experience short-lived satisfaction from them[addictions], we keep getting hooked. In repeating our quest for instant gratification, pursuing addictions of all kinds—some seemingly benign, some obviously lethal—we continue to reinforce old patterns of suffering. We strengthen dysfunctional patterns.Thus we become less and less able to reside with even the most fleeting uneasiness or discomfort.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''There is no cure for hot and cold. There is no cure for the facts of life.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

Pema Chödrön quote

 ''Trying to change ourselves doesn’t work in the long run because we’re resisting our own energy. Self-improvement can have temporary results, but lasting transformation occurs only when we honor ourselves as the source of wisdom and compassion.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''It is only when we begin to relax with ourselves that meditation becomes a transformative process. Only when we relate with ourselves without moralizing,
without harshness, without deception, can we let go of harmful patterns.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''As we continue to sit we see that meditation isn’t about getting it right or attaining some ideal state. It’s about being able to stay present with ourselves. It becomes increasingly clear that we won’t be free of self-destructive patterns unless we develop a compassionate understanding of what they are.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''In meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel it’s impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but also about what it is to be human. All of us derive security and comfort from the imaginary world of memories and fantasies and plans. We really don’t want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. It goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humor can give us the strength to settle down.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

Pema Chödrön quote


''Transformation occurs only when we remember, breath by breath, year after year, to move toward our emotional distress without condemning or justifying our experience.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''When our emotions intensify, what we usually feel is fear.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''By acknowledging the emotion, dropping whatever story we are telling ourselves about it, and feeling the energy of the moment, we cultivate compassion for ourselves.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''when we harm another, we are harming ourselves…others are not so different from ourselves.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''If we wish to practice generosity and a beggar arrives, that’s good news. The beggar gives us an opportunity to learn how to give. Likewise, if we want to practice patience and unconditional loving-kindness and an enemy arrives, we are in luck. Without the ones who irritate us, we never have a chance to practice.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 
  
Pema Chödrön quote


''Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 
  

''The best way to serve ourselves is to love and care for others.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''When we are willing to stay even a moment with uncomfortable energy, we
gradually learn not to fear it. Then when we see someone in distress we’re not
reluctant to breathe in the person’s suffering and send out relief.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Difficult people are,…. the greatest teachers. Aspiring to rejoice in their good fortune is a good opportunity to investigate our reactions and our strategies. How do we react to their good luck, good health, good news? With envy? With anger? With fear? What is our strategy for moving away from what we feel? Revenge, self-denigration? What stories do we tell ourselves? ('She’s a snob' .'I’m a failure.') These reactions, strategies, and story lines are what cocoons and prison walls are made of.''

Pema Chödrön quote


 ''When life is pleasant, think of others. When life is a burden,think of others.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Pity or professional warmth is easily mistaken for true compassion.When we identify ourselves as the helper, it means we see others as helpless.Instead of feeling the pain of the other person, we set ourselves apart. If we’ve ever been on the receiving end of pity we know how painful it feels. Instead of warmth and support all we feel is distance. With true compassion these up-down identities are stripped away.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''When we find ourselves in an aggressive relationship, we need to set clear boundaries. The kindest thing we can do for everyone concerned is to know when to say ‘enough.’ Many people use Buddhist ideals to justify self-debasement. In the name of not shutting our heart, we let people walk all over us. It is said that in order not to break our vow of compassion we have to learn when to stop aggression and draw the line. There are times when the only way to bring down the barriers is to set boundaries.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''The far enemy or opposite of compassion is cruelty. When we reach the limit of how much suffering we can take, we sometimes use cruelty as a defense against our fear of pain. This is common for anyone who was abused as a child.Instead of feeling kindness for those who are defenseless and weak, we can feel an irrational desire to hurt them. We protect our vulnerability and fear by hardening. If we do not recognize that by doing this we hurt ourselves as much as we hurt others, we’ll never get free.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

Pema Chödrön quote


''The near enemy of joyfulness is over-excitement. We can churn ourselves into a manic state and mistake riding high above the sorrows of the world for unconditional joy. Again, instead of connecting us with others, this separates us. Authentic joy is not a euphoric state or a feeling of being high. Rather, it is a state of appreciation that allows us to participate fully in our lives. We train in rejoicing in the good fortune of self and others.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Comfort orientation, is based on our tendency to avoid inconvenience….This particular brand of laziness can make us aggressive. We become outraged at inconvenience. When the car doesn’t work, when we lose our water or electric service, when we have to sit on the cold ground without padding, we explode.Comfort orientation dulls our appreciation of smells and sights and sounds. It also makes us dissatisfied. Somehow we always know in our hearts that pure pleasure is not the route to lasting happiness.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''The third kind of laziness, ‘couldn’t care less,’ is characterized by resentment.
We are giving the world the finger. It’s similar to loss of heart but much harder.
Loss of heart has some kind of softness and vulnerability. Couldn’t care less is
more aggressive and defiant. ‘The world is messed up. It’s not giving me what I
deserve. So why bother?’ We go to the bar and drink all day long, and if
someone talks to us we pick a fight. Or we shut the curtains, get into bed, and
pull the blankets over our heads. If someone tries to cheer us up, heaven help
him! We wallow in feeling undervalued and put down. We don’t want to find any
outlet. We just want to sit around, feeling weighted down with gloom. We use
laziness as our way of getting revenge. This kind of laziness can easily turn into
incapacitating depression.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''There is no act that is inherently virtuous or nonvirtuous. The warrior trains in
the discipline of not causing harm, knowing that the way to do this skillfully will
change with the circumstances. When we practice discipline with flexibility, we
become less moralistic and more tolerant.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''The essence of generosity is letting go. Pain is always a sign that we are holding on to something—usually ourselves. When we feel unhappy, when we feel inadequate, we get stingy; we hold on tight. Generosity is an activity that loosens us up. By offering whatever we can—a dollar, a flower, a word of encouragement—we are training in letting go.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''There are so many ways to practice generosity. The main point isn’t so much
what we give but that we unlock our habit of clinging.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

Pema Chödrön quote


''Holding on to anything blocks wisdom. Any conclusions we might draw must be let go.''
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


“Authentic joy is not a euphoric state or a feeling of being high. Rather, it is a state of appreciation that allows us to participate fully in our lives. We train in rejoicing in the good fortune of self and others.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Practice not causing harm to anyone—yourself or others—and every day, do what you can to be helpful.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 
  

''Each time we retaliate with aggressive words and actions, we are strengthening the habit of anger….In times of anger, we can contact the kindness and compassion that we already have. When someone who is insane starts to harm us, we can easily understand that she doesn’t know what she is doing. There is the possibility of contacting our heart and feeling sadness that she is out of control and is harming herself by hurting others. There is the possibility that even though we feel fear, we do not feel hatred or anger. Instead we might feel inspired to help this person if we can.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Actually a lunatic is far less crazy than a sane person who harms us, for that so-called sane person has the potential to realize that in acting aggressively he is sowing seeds of his own confusion and dissatisfaction. His present aggression is strengthening future, more-intense habits of aggression. He is creating his own soap opera. This kind of life is painful and lonely. The one who harms us is under the influence of patterns that could continue to produce suffering forever.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


''Without the inconsiderate neighbor, where will we find the chance to practice patience? Without the office bully, how could we ever get the chance to know the energy of anger so intimately that it loses its destructive power? The teacher is always with us.''
 ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 

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